9 years

Yesterday marked 9 years since Scott's brain surgery.  My Mom pointed out the other day that there have been more years since the brain surgery than before the brain surgery in our marriage. I immediately argued that, but then realized she was right. How could that be?  I think our pre-surgery marriage is kind of on a pedestal in my mind. It seemed carefree and easy. It is still hard for me to realize there are some very important people in my life now that did not know us then.  I still long for a hike in the mountains with my whole family. A lot. One day we will.

My husband is a patient man. My husband thinks of his family before himself.  My husband sacrifices and works hard and faces disappointments, but continues to move forward.

On Saturday he crawled around the basement working on leveling the concrete floor. Then he came upstairs and kneeled outside on the driveway cutting pieces of wood with his saw for hours. His entire day was full of doing his best for his family's comfort. His knees are black and blue. He is a good man with a desire to better himself and do the best he can with what he's got. He deserves the world.

I've Missed it...

I haven't posted for a long time.  It's not really the "in" thing to blog anymore. Instagram and facebook are taking over.  However, I looked through my blog the other day and read about things I'd completely forgotten. I remember now why I loved this. It's a wonderful way to journal your life and feelings.  I like to see people's instagram photos, but I LOVE to read people's deeper thoughts and feelings on their blogs. So, I'm starting again, and what a great day to start.

Yesterday, Scotty had his first day as an intern working on researching growth patterns, and community planning. He was dressed so nicely in dress pants and a beautiful blue button up shirt with his new hair do that he calls the "Beeba do".  I was just really so proud.  He hasn't been in the workforce for 8 years.  He's entering it now as a different person. He has some concerns about what accomodations he will need to do his best; a quiet space to work his voice recognition typing, a desk that his wheelchair can fit under, an office with space to move a wheelchair around easily. I too have concerns and the unknowns make this even more nerve racking, but this I KNOW.  He has pushed through uncomfortable circumstances for years and he has learned and grown. He has looked and looked for an internship and felt turned down before even being considered because of his speech.  He has worried about how he'll get to and from work.  He has wondered if anyone would be willing to take a chance on a guy in a wheelchair starting over.  I prayed for him to have what he wanted.  I prayed that people would see him for who he really is and look past the things that can be uncomfortable or different.  And guess what?  He was accepted as an intern in a place that is easy for him to get to, with a quiet office of his own, with a boss who endured a traumatic injury due to a skeleton accident (you know the Olympic sledding).  I am so proud and grateful.

Do-it-yourselfers

Saturday morning while washing I noticed the machine was leaking large amounts of water out the front door. Oh dear.  I put a bucket underneath it and mopped up the floor and went on. 

When the load was done I took a look inside the machine. I figured the rubber seal wasn't sealing right. 

I guess I had a burst of self assurance and went online to look up how to take out that seal. 

It really involved taking off the top, the control panel, the soap dispenser, the door, the bottom panel, the cable spring, bulkhead and bellow clamp. 

hmmm? This could end poorly. 

With Asher as my trusty sidekick we went to work. He would run back and forth to the garage bringing back the right tools. He really knows his stuff there. 

We got it taken apart and took out the bellow. This is when I discovered a minor tear in the bellow that was causing the leak. I ordered one and we all went about dirtying clothes, sheets, towels, etc for the next 6 days until the part came. While in the belly of my machine I located the filter. We've had this machine serviced before and the man told me that items like pennies, bobby-pins, wrappers, get caught in the filter and ruin your motor. I thought I'd clean that filter out while we were in there. Lo and behold we found all the above mentioned items.  I felt like I'd given my machine a little gift of the extension of life. :)

When the UPS man pulled up on Thursday I squealed with joy (just ask Ginger I was on the phone with her). 

Asher and I went to work and got it all put together, installed the new bellow- so clean and fresh!, and ran a load of laundry. It worked. 

We fixed it. 

Just us. 

It was awesome. 

An Adventure

Is it ever strange and exciting to you that there is so much around you that you've never seen?
It is to me.

One memory I have of this idea is as a teenager traveling to a little farming town near my hometown with my sister Jen. We were attending a missionary farewell. I'd never been to this town, and had no idea it existed. As we traveled it looked like we were headed nowhere, and then suddenly this little farming town popped up before my eyes.  People were at church in their wranglers with a warm welcome. I never forgot visiting that little hidden town.

For President's Day I wanted an adventure. I wanted to drive south to land we've never seen. I wanted to see the people who lived there and the towns that surrounded mine.  To say the older kids were less than thrilled is a large understatement. Scott and I loaded them up giggling at their complete frustration with this whole idea.

We drove to Smith's and picked out snacks in teams of 2.  With our jerky, licorice, chips, and drinks we headed south.  Tickle bump road lightened the mood.  I demanded no ipods, music or books. We were going to look out the windows and have conversations.  So, I started talking.

"I wonder how long Utah lake is?"
"I wonder what the tallest peak in Utah is?"
"I wonder what they farm out here?"

The kids started thinking and talking. Scotty looked up things we didn't have an answer for on his phone.

When we arrived at a stop sign we turned right and headed to Eureka, Utah. Never been there. Tiny little mining town with old buildings.  The first cool thing we found was this brightly windowed building that covered these stairs in front of this beautiful old church.  It was an LDS meetinghouse built in 1902. Isn't that bright yellow door just stunning?

 About this time Asher had created an effigy of me using licorice as hair. Evidently I had a high pitched British accent.  The kids (and SCOTT!) would roar with laughter when he'd say, "Let's go on an adventure!"  Ok. It was pretty funny.  Every stop we'd make he'd remember my comments and repeat them in the car with this funny accent.

 Next stop. Abandoned caboose.  We explored it briefly.  Very cool to see the layout of this train car and realize people lived in these as they traveled.

 Thought this old building was a bit funny. I had to look up BPOE and found it means Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks- a well known fraternal order. Wonder if this place is hopping on a Friday night?

 Isn't this old Levi's advertisement cool.  Do you think Levi will still give you a free new pair if yours rip?

 On the right is St.Patrick's Catholic church built in 1885. It is one of the oldest in the State. It had a cool old bell out front that Aidan rang. Woops. On the left is a huge mining headframe. This was where people and equipment were lowered via cages into the vertical mining shaft.

 This was the super duper muddy Eureka cemetery.

 And lastly, on the way out of town, I spied this rock with Porter Rockwell's name  on it.
Turns out his cabin was relocated from Cherry Creek to Eureka and here it sits! Porter was a bodyguard to the Prophets Joseph Smith and Brigham Young.

On the way home we spotted some emus.  It was the perfect ending to an adventurous day.

About a dog

It was just shortly after we moved out of an apartment and into our own home that Scott started talking about a dog.  He kind of just mentioned it in passing here and there.  I considered myself "not a dog person".  He'd grown up with a little dog sleeping with him. He loved that dog, and when it died after 17 years this was the first time I saw Scotty cry.  

One spring day Scotty rolled in the driveway with a smile a mile wide.  He hopped out carrying a furry yellow bundle. A sweet little pup. The kids were immediately hooked. Asher carted her around under with both arms. She was nearly as big as he was.  Those first few nights Scotty was like a new Mother, up all night with her crying newborn.  He slept by her little bed he'd made.  

She grew and became just what he was hoping for, a work dog.  Every morning I'd hear the roar of the diesel truck and Scotty would call out, "load up Claire".  Off the the team went.  He'd build homes and she'd win the admiration of co-workers and homeowners with her sweet manners and funny quirks like lying on top of the cab of his truck with her paws draped down the windshield.  

People would comment what an obedient dog she was.  Scotty trained her well, and she was eager to please.  When we took her hiking and she couldn't stay out of the water.  

 When Scotty got sick Claire didn't get to go to work any more. Our family's life changed and that included her.  I didn't think about her life changing.  I was so focused on my children and Scott.
After 6 weeks of not seeing his dog Scott came home from the hospital and met her in the driveway.
It was a happy reunion and brought tears to my eyes.

Our life never became what it was, and Claire didn't go to work anymore. Eventually, it was decided she needed a home that could give her more of what she really needed. We found her a home. An older man and his wife who had a dog and loved to hike and run.  There were tears and questions. Explaining to your children that we weren't enough was hard. The guilt was immense for me.  These little children couldn't be expected to provide all a dog needs, and Scott no longer could. It fell on me, and I wasn't getting it done.  I could not commit to giving Claire what she needed and everyone else in my family.  

The children were sad, and wanted to visit her, and we did.  She ran to greet us and we felt better knowing she hadn't forgotten us and didn't hold any hard feelings.  She nuzzled in between Scott's knees while he sat in his wheelchair.  She returned to him over and over. She obeyed his commands to sit.  When we left the tears and questions were back. Visiting was good, but hard.

Last week I got a call from Claire's adopted owners.  She was old. She was in pain.  It was time to say goodbye.  My words choked in my throat when I asked if he could wait until we could come.  I held onto this information until the day came to visit.  I didn't want to see the sadness longer than I had to.  

Scott left school early, I checked the kids out early and we drove over.  

We waited in the garage, and here she came hobbling to us.  She nuzzled into Scott's lap.  

Sitting was too painful, so she just stood and wagged her tail.  We talked about our favorite memories. The Overson's talked about a long hot hike in southern Utah.  No water in site.  They'd stopped for a break and Claire disappeared. When she finally returned she was soaking wet.  She'd found the only water in the area. She led them to it and they all dipped their hats.  We talked about what a happy dog she is.  Even in pain.  The Overson's told us they thought she was the happiest dog they'd ever met.  We thanked them for loving her.  Everyone said their goodbyes.

I'm thankful Scotty brought home that little pup. She has brought joy to many people's lives.