On this day 4 years ago...

" I've been in the surgery waiting room since 11:30 a.m. It's 4:40 now.  They call every hour and a half and give us updates.  I've gotten 3 and they just tell you that surgery is going well.  Mom came around 12:30 and brought this journal and my book To Draw Closer to God.  She bought me a sandwich and rubbed my feet.  After she left I slept for 1/2 hour then decided to write and  take some pictures. Scott's Grandma Dorothy and Michael arrived.  Terri's with the kids and Karen is going to take them to dinner and swimming.  I'll keep waiting and praying. "

From my journal

It's odd to read back over my journal, and painful.  We've come so far, and yet there's so far left to go.  Scott held Grace for me so I could get ready for bed the other night.  She was screaming.  As I washed my face I could hear him quietly saying, "You're okay Grace.  You're okay." She just kept right on screaming, but he never quit trying to quietly soothe her.  "What patience! ", I thought.  This challenge has definitely brought out some of Scott's best qualities, and some of my flaws.  I remember sitting at my dining room table talking to Terri one day and sobbing, asking how could I live a life like this?  What if things never got better? I doubted that I could do it.  I had so much learning and growing to do, I still do.  

The most difficult part has been to accept the will of God in my life and remember that he has a plan. " Be still and know that I am God".  

Scott is not a quitter, and he doesn't put limits on himself.  He pushes forward and challenges himself and finds happiness by meeting those challenges.   

We've been talking about unity a lot in our ward, Stake, and with our home teachers.  Challenges have the ability to unify a family, a ward,  a Stake, if everyone does their part.  If everyone has charity in their hearts and looks for ways to lighten the overall burden.  I feel so much love for my ward and neighbors and for my family and Scott's.  I think this is because when we had our most difficult times and felt our lowest and weakest these people were there as God's hands lifting us, pushing us forward, loving us better. I felt so unified with all these people who were an answer to my prayers, and I still feel that unity.  I still read little notes I was given, and go through my journal to remind myself of all the love and goodness in this world.  And to remember that we can be an answer to someone's prayers.

Happy Anniversary Scotty!