Sitting at the kitchen table today sorting through hundreds of photos before I went digital,
Cole sat beside me.
I was searching for that one special picture of Chloe for my blog.
There were far too many to choose from.
Suddenly, Cole yells,
"Oh my gosh Mom! Look at this. Dad is standing! How is he doing that?!"
My eyes filled with tears as I was reminded that he never knew that man.
It was before his time.
Unbelievable.
I remember being newlyweds in a little apartment living on love.
So happy to have him home at the end of the work day.
Greeting him at the door with my new little baby.
I remember moving into our first home and our growing family.
I remember the sound of his diesel truck as he pulled in the driveway and
the children yelling and running out to greet him.
I remember his big firm hugs and slow dances.
All of these things meld into more current memories and experiences and are one.
That is who he is to me.
To think that some of our children have never known that man is strange still.
Sometimes I find myself wanting to fill them in on the whole picture. My picture.
Tell them what an awesome snow skier he was. Or water skier.
Or rollerblader. Or basketball player. Or golfer.
Or how he pulled the oldest 2 children on sleds like a snow dog endlessly in the winter.
Or that he use to work 16 hour days.
The father my children know has become even stronger and more humble,
gentler, and more forgiving.
His patience has grown tremendously. He is a fighter. A go-getter. A hardworker.
I looked at Cole and said, "Daddy use to be able to walk son. Before you were born."
He looked at me kind of unsure then pulled the picture out of Scott trying to pull the weight out of the ground in ToonTown. He giggled, "Look at Dad trying to lift that weight".
8 comments:
I love that Scotty always have always will and I think his qualities are refined and are of greater value today more than ever.He use to stand on his own Cole but now he is a giant among men.
Oh man, I'm workin' here. I can't read stuff like like when I'm wrangling 5th graders!
Behind every great man, is a great woman.
I don't like to say it out loud, but man I miss that Scott. That Scott taught me work hard and play hard, and he and I did just that in what seems like countless times. When I look back I think of the example he was to me of what a man should be. It's hard to believe I am now older that he was then and still don't feel like I could fill those shoes. In so many ways he was the older brother I never had. I wish Felicia could have known him them but I'm happy she knows the stronger man that he is now.
Well, today's good news is that this crying flushed the eyelash out of my eye that had been there since 5am yesterday. God works in mysterious ways.
Emotionally I am not capable enough to fully express how this post makes me feel. We all agree that the man Scott is- is a stronger, wiser, more patient man. But, it's no secret that we all yearn for the day when those who can't remember & those who won't forget, will see him walk. The journey there is what it's all about.
As you know.
Can I just tell you how much I love reading your blog. You have a gift with words. Your kids are lucky that you are writing all these things down for them to read someday. Your awesome.
Wow. What a moment. I feel an analogy coming on, so I'll stop myself. The whole thing makes me ridiculously emotional considering what a fortunate outcome it truly was. We are so glad to have Scott in our lives.
I can't say anything that hasn't already been felt! I love you guys! A whole lot!
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